But why? If doing something like the above makes you feel better then is it not a good idea?

No it isn’t and I’ll explain why. Apart from the obvious legal implications of destroying another person’s property there is the simple fact that doing something out of anger will only let your ex know something that you really do not want them to know!

And that is that you still care enough to take some kind of action against them. But you say, they know that I care and if they cared about me then I wouldn’t be doing this! Your ex may well think that you are still in love with them but knowing is a different matter.

By showing your ex that you are still in love you are giving them all the power! You are also showing them that you are not mature enough to handle whatever it is they have done in a grown up manner.  In fact you may as well send them a letter saying that you are available at any time for them and you do not have a life without them!

Your ex has gone, if they cared enough about you they would not have left so why hold a grudge about something you can do nothing about. You can’t control your ex’s life so why try? Besides it takes two to tango and blaming somebody else for you being on your own is simply refusing to take responsibility for your own life! Your relationship with your ex was as much your responsibility as theirs so perhaps you should examine your own life and work out why whatever happened did so and what you can do in the future to make sure it never happens again!

I am a firm believer in the maxim that it is your life and whatever happens in it is your responsibility. Living according to that way of thinking puts all the power in your life in your hands and actually makes it a lot easier to get through life!

So let’s have a look at what kind of revenge you could get satisfaction from.

The best type of revenge is where you move on in your life and find love again! Easy to say but is it easy to do? In a lot of ways yes. How you move on is up to you but one way of doing it is to get out there and make new friends. These new friends will in turn introduce you to other potential friends and partners so learn how to network! Join a gym or a walking/reading club, find something else to do that does not give you time to brood over the past. Filling your day with new experiences will in turn allow you to grow as a person and give you that maturity that will allow you to deal with any of life’s little problems!

As well as doing you the world of good, making new friends and building a new social life will have another consequence. It will show your ex that your life is going on without them! That you do not need them in your life for your life is complete with or without them.

And that my friend is real revenge!

Many reading this will say that forgiving either themselves or their ex is not something that they can easily do, either because of the hurt that has been caused to them or the hurt they have caused to their ex. But this feeling of not being able to forgive seems to me to come from a feeling of superiority over others, “why should I forgive when I have done nothing wrong?” Or “it is the other person who should forgive me first”.

Let’s have a look at that attitude from the point of view of both the dumped and the dumper.

Being a dumpee is not pleasant and for many people in this situation the feeling of guilt can be overwhelming. “Should I have done more/listened more/taken him /her out more?” Or the classic “if only I had realised how bad the relationship was I could have saved it”. These recurring guilty feelings can be enough to stop a person in their tracks and prevent them from moving on. Similarly the feelings of anger about being dumped can turn into guilt at not being enough! Otherwise they think they would not have been dumped in the first place!

So want can you do about these feelings and bring yourself back into the real world. Well the first thing to do is try and forgive yourself. It does not matter if you were the cause of the breakup or it was your ex who initiated it. There is only one person in this world that you can truly control and that is you! Forgiving yourself for any mistakes you made no matter how big is a sign of responsibility and taking that responsibility for your life back will in turn help you gain strength to deal with the situation you are in.

Also self forgiveness is the first step towards forgiving your ex and that is something you must do. Harbouring feelings of anger and resentment towards your ex lover will only have the result of eating you up from the inside preventing you from either getting back with your ex on an equal footing or moving on and finding someone new.

If you are the dumper then the same principles of forgiveness apply. Maybe your ex cheated on you and you are finding it hard to forgive them. Perhaps you think that if only you had made more of an effort you would still have a relationship with your ex.  Whatever the reason you must learn to forgive yourself first and then forgive your ex. If you are harbouring those feelings of superiority I mentioned earlier in this article then forgiving your ex will allow you to develop into a more mature person. None of us is perfect and holding a grudge towards another human being simply because you feel they have treated you badly is silly and life wasting. While you are wallowing in your feelings of self pity and the superiority that comes from it your ex is building themselves a new life! Think of that the next time you feel angry about what you think your ex  has done!

A helpful technique you can learn is to set aside some time during your day when you know you will be alone and be able to think. Find a comfortable chair and sit down. Close your eyes and imagine you are somebody else. This does not have to be somebody you know, rather imagine that the person with the guilt and heartbreak is somebody you are talking to and trying to advise. In this conversation with your imaginary friend stress to them the importance of forgiveness, tell them that every one of us makes mistakes and that if they forgive themselves their life will be a lot easier to live.

This technique has its origins in self hypnosis and can be incredibly powerful but does need to be practised. So try and do it each day, once you can convince yourself that you are forgiven by you it will be so much easier to forgive your ex and move on with your life.

Are you in a situation where your ex is moving in and out of your life? Where he or she has somebody new but they keep coming back to you to “try” and make their relationship with you work?
If you are in this to and fro situation then you are not alone but it is very important that you realise why this is happening.

You may think that they are as genuine as you about trying to make the relationship work but are they really? Asking yourself some questions can make the situation much clearer.

1, Do they have someone else?

2, Have they told you that they feel guilty about leaving you?

2, Are they insecure about their own life?

4, Can they be trusted to tell you the truth?

5, How much trust in them do you still have?

If your ex has found somebody else but still comes back to you then they are probably feeling guilty about what has happened. “Trying” again with you is their way of getting rid of their own guilty conscience and gives them the opportunity to tell their friends and family that they have tried their “best” to make it work.

Telling you that they feel guilty about what they have done is simply a way of passing on the responsibility for the relationship onto you. In a way it is not being honest for if they really felt guilty then they would not be putting you through this daily heartache! After all who really sets out to hurt another human being deliberately?

Behaving in this way also signals insecurity in your ex. A mature person would not behave in this way for he or she would understand the pain they are causing and take steps to lessen that pain either by committing to you or moving on with their life and so giving you the chance to move on with yours. That insecurity and immaturity is something that you can do nothing about no matter how much you love your ex, it is something only they can deal with and it may take them having to suffer in the way you are suffering for them to learn how to grow and mature.

Even if your ex made the decision to come back to you permanently how much trust would you have in him or her? Once trust for another is broken it can take years to rebuild and if your ex is behaving in such an immature way now, without him or her growing up rapidly you will always find it hard to trust them again.

Really the best thing for you to do in this situation is for YOU to move on! The next time your ex says that they would like to try again, calmly and rationally explain to them that you are not interested and wish them the best of luck in their new life. No matter how much this hurts, you taking the upper hand in this situation is your only way out of it. It will ironically cause your ex to respect you a lot more and it will make it clear to him or her that you are in charge of your life and what happens in it!

If in the future you and your ex meet again he or she will remember the mature way you dealt with the relationship ending with them. This will give you a far greater chance of making any new relationship with your ex work without all the “trying!” Or if you meet someone new the maturity and responsibility that you learned to take for your own life will make you a much more attractive person.

Ironically it is the very act of giving all to your partner that led to the relationship breaking up in the first place! While at the start of your relationship you spent all your time together in a frenzy of lovemaking and romance this kind of living in each other’s pockets simply can’t be maintained!

Why? Because for a relationship to grow it needs each of the partners in the relationship to constantly feed it with new experiences and to do that you need to have an independent life away from your partner.

By doing this you are showing your lover that your life does not revolve around them, your life was full before you met them and it will continue to be a full active life even if they leave. This is especially important with men as women while initially loving the 24 hour attention from their man will rapidly find it suffocating and eventually consider that attention to be a sign of neediness from their man. Not an attractive trait in anybody!

Now let’s take a look at how to move on after your relationship has ended.

The first few months of life alone can seem very daunting indeed with no idea about how to move on and get over the failure of what you thought was a perfect relationship.In fact for a lot of this time the only thing on your mind will be your ex and what he or she is doing now.

But for your own peace of mind you must make the effort to move on and find a new life.

One of the most common things that happen when a relationship ends is that a lot of the friends that were made during the relationship disappear as well, either through embarrassment because they don’t know what to say to you or because their loyalties lie with your ex. It may be a bitter pill to swallow but you must make the effort to forget about these “friends” and make new ones.

Making new friends will have a number of very positive effects on your life-

1, It will fill your time so you will no longer be able to brood about what happened

2, It will give you new experiences helping to replace the bad memories with better ones

3, One new friend will lead to another and so on

4, A new friend could well be a prospective new partner

Sounds easy but where do I meet these new friends?

In this day of internet access meeting new friends could not be easier. Go online and look up groups in your area. These could be book clubs/walking clubs/film clubs, in fact the list is endless! From checking out the latest fashions to sky diving you have an infinite number of choices. Joining a number of these will fill your time and allow you to learn the art of networking. Making new friends will turn your life around and present you with new opportunities in your life. And who knows maybe even a new love interest as well!

Many reading this will say that forgiving either themselves or their ex is not something that they can easily do, either because of the hurt that has been caused to them or the hurt they have caused to their ex. But this feeling of not being able to forgive seems to me to come from a feeling of superiority over others, “why should I forgive when I have done nothing wrong?” Or “it is the other person who should forgive me first”.

Let’s have a look at that attitude from the point of view of both the dumped and the dumper.

Being a dumpee is not pleasant and for many people in this situation the feeling of guilt can be overwhelming. “Should I have done more/listened more/taken him /her out more?” Or the classic “if only I had realised how bad the relationship was I could have saved it”. These recurring guilty feelings can be enough to stop a person in their tracks and prevent them from moving on. Similarly the feelings of anger about being dumped can turn into guilt at not being enough! Otherwise they think they would not have been dumped in the first place!

So want can you do about these feelings and bring yourself back into the real world. Well the first thing to do is try and forgive yourself. It does not matter if you were the cause of the breakup or it was your ex who initiated it. There is only one person in this world that you can truly control and that is you! Forgiving yourself for any mistakes you made no matter how big is a sign of responsibility and taking that responsibility for your life back will in turn help you gain strength to deal with the situation you are in.

Also self forgiveness is the first step towards forgiving your ex and that is something you must do. Harbouring feelings of anger and resentment towards your ex lover will only have the result of eating you up from the inside preventing you from either getting back with your ex on an equal footing or moving on and finding someone new.

If you are the dumper then the same principles of forgiveness apply. Maybe your ex cheated on you and you are finding it hard to forgive them. Perhaps you think that if only you had made more of an effort you would still have a relationship with your ex.  Whatever the reason you must learn to forgive yourself first and then forgive your ex. If you are harbouring those feelings of superiority I mentioned earlier in this article then forgiving your ex will allow you to develop into a more mature person. None of us is perfect and holding a grudge towards another human being simply because you feel they have treated you badly is silly and life wasting. While you are wallowing in your feelings of self pity and the superiority that comes from it your ex is building themselves a new life! Think of that the next time you feel angry about what you think your ex  has done!

A helpful technique you can learn is to set aside some time during your day when you know you will be alone and be able to think. Find a comfortable chair and sit down. Close your eyes and imagine you are somebody else. This does not have to be somebody you know, rather imagine that the person with the guilt and heartbreak is somebody you are talking to and trying to advise. In this conversation with your imaginary friend stress to them the importance of forgiveness, tell them that every one of us makes mistakes and that if they forgive themselves their life will be a lot easier to live.

This technique has its origins in self hypnosis and can be incredibly powerful but does need to be practised. So try and do it each day, once you can convince yourself that you are forgiven by you it will be so much easier to forgive your ex and move on with your life.

But why? If doing something like the above makes you feel better then is it not a good idea?

No it isn’t and I’ll explain why. Apart from the obvious legal implications of destroying another person’s property there is the simple fact that doing something out of anger will only let your ex know something that you really do not want them to know!

And that is that you still care enough to take some kind of action against them. But you say, they know that I care and if they cared about me then I wouldn’t be doing this! Your ex may well think that you are still in love with them but knowing is a different matter.

By showing your ex that you are still in love you are giving them all the power! You are also showing them that you are not mature enough to handle whatever it is they have done in a grown up manner.  In fact you may as well send them a letter saying that you are available at any time for them and you do not have a life without them!

Your ex has gone, if they cared enough about you they would not have left so why hold a grudge about something you can do nothing about. You can’t control your ex’s life so why try? Besides it takes two to tango and blaming somebody else for you being on your own is simply refusing to take responsibility for your own life! Your relationship with your ex was as much your responsibility as theirs so perhaps you should examine your own life and work out why whatever happened did so and what you can do in the future to make sure it never happens again!

I am a firm believer in the maxim that it is your life and whatever happens in it is your responsibility. Living according to that way of thinking puts all the power in your life in your hands and actually makes it a lot easier to get through life!

So let’s have a look at what kind of revenge you could get satisfaction from.

The best type of revenge is where you move on in your life and find love again! Easy to say but is it easy to do? In a lot of ways yes. How you move on is up to you but one way of doing it is to get out there and make new friends. These new friends will in turn introduce you to other potential friends and partners so learn how to network! Join a gym or a walking/reading club, find something else to do that does not give you time to brood over the past. Filling your day with new experiences will in turn allow you to grow as a person and give you that maturity that will allow you to deal with any of life’s little problems!

As well as doing you the world of good, making new friends and building a new social life will have another consequence. It will show your ex that your life is going on without them! That you do not need them in your life for your life is complete with or without them.

And that my friend is real revenge!

Because all that shows your ex is that you don’t have a life to lead away from them. And how attractive do you think that is? The more you push your ex the farther they will run. It is a simple fact of life!

There is an old saying my grandmother was very fond of- Slowly slowly catchee monkee!

Let me ask you a question. How much interest do you think you are going to get from your ex if-

1, You are always around, trying to talk to them, ringing them constantly, sending notes and flowers daily?

2, You are out enjoying yourself, meeting new friends, doing new things, dating or travelling?

The first option tells your ex that you are needy, desperate and will run to them whenever they want. The second on the other hand shows that you are independent and in demand!

Now put yourself in the shoes of your ex. If you were him or her which one of those options would you find attractive in a new partner? New?

Yes you read it right! Forget about going back to your old relationship, it no longer exists but for the memories. It hurts to think that way I know but it is a fact that you are going to have to face. Any relationship that you are going to have with your ex has to be a new one!

The reasons for this are simple. Your ex must find you attractive again, must look upon a relationship with you as an attractive proposition, committing to you as a partner a worthwhile idea and feel attracted to you sexually. These things must be looked at as being new to your ex so you have to change the way your ex views you. Here is an example.

If your relationship was marred by constant rows then your ex is not going to find the idea of going back to that very appealing! After all you wouldn’t want to go back to a relationship like that would you?

So what to do? The answer to this question is quite simple. Take some time out of your day, sit down where you won’t be disturbed, close your eyes and imagine yourself as an outsider looking in on your old relationship. This is not very easy to do but it is a wonderful technique for taking your mind off your current heartbreak and also enabling you to see a lot more clearly.

Once you are able to look at your relationship from the point of view of a stranger then you can pinpoint those areas where arguments tended to start. Something about your home, or maybe his or her refusal to tidy up, perhaps the two of you had got into a rut and you or your ex was bored?

It may surprise you to see that a lot of your disagreements with your ex probably had to do with the same thing. In fact most of your arguments were probably repetitive, the same ones coming up again and again simply because the underlying problem has not been dealt with!

Now you can start to work out how to deal with that problem so that if you get the chance to start a NEW relationship with your old lover that problem won’t be a problem any more!

1, Understand what it is to be a man! I’m not talking about what you learnt from your dad or your friends, what I mean is how you as a man project yourself to others. The great thing about the internet age is how easy it is to simply go on line and find out information about anything under the sun. So if you have ever been told by a woman to “man up” or “be a man” then maybe it’s time you took those comments seriously, did yourself a favour and found out what “being a man” really means! The ladies in your life will love it!

2, What the hell do women see in Brad Pitt anyway? It is surprising how many men simply don’t understand why their woman goes weak at the knees when her favourite film star appears on screen. Let me give you a clue gents! He looks GOOD! Now go away and think about that and when you have finally worked it out take a look at your self in the mirror and then dump those baggy shorts!

3, Stop living in the past! Men in particular seem to revel in throwing every little indiscretion that their woman has ever committed back in her face the moment an argument starts. Let it go guys! Want to know why? It is because women LOVE a man who has the capacity and the heart to forgive! Women know they are not perfect, men unfortunately believe they are!

4, Except responsibility for your life and everything that happens in it! The days when you could cry to mom that “a big boy did it and ran away” are long gone my friend! Owning up to your mistakes is a big plus in a woman’s mind, it means you are honest with yourself and as far as she is concerned that means that you will always be honest with her!

5, Learn what maturity is and then get some! The number of immature men running round loose in this world is simply frightening! Whether their dads were immature as well or they have been spoiled by their mommy’s is anybody’s guess but women HATE immature men! To a woman a man who is immature is not a prospect for a good relationship, after all if the man can’t look after himself how is he going to look after HER kids? So guys go join a weekend course were you will have to learn to cook for yourself and clean your own underwear! Or even better sign up for a course in leadership skills, there is nothing like trying  to command other men for building maturity.

6, Take charge! Women want a leader not a bully, they like to be led by a man who knows where  he is going and how to get there! Now this is not the same as driving blindly down a country road and refusing to ask for directions! Admitting you are lost is a sign of maturity and responsibility, not admitting it is a sign of stupidity! A woman wants a man who can take her to a restaurant that he thinks she will like rather than her being asked over and over “where would you like to go?” A leader is safe and respected, so do yourself a favour guys and take your woman by the hand and show her you are a man!

7, Shape up or ship out! Join a gym Jim and get yourself fit! Ok so that’s not really Paul Simon but you know what I mean. If you are more Billy Blob than Superman then it is time to do something about it. And while you are at it how about cleaning the yard and fixing stuff! There is NOTHING more annoying to a woman than an untidy man and I just know this is going to come as a surprise to a lot of men out there but women find a tidy man a turn on! Note I said tidy not nerd so dump the geek glasses! Tidiness points to responsibility which points to maturity which points to…ok you get the idea!

So there you are, 7 laws about women and getting her back. Why did I call it 7 Laws? Because I strongly think that most of the relationship problems and breakups that men go through are linked to one or maybe all of the points above. Sort these out and you will stand a far better chance of getting an ex lover back or even attracting a new one!

Unfortunately there is a downside to the wonderful way our mind works and it is this. Our mind deals with memories in the same way, it learns which memories we dwell on the most and makes sure they are always available. Now this can be good in some cases! The first time you kissed, when you passed your driving test, a pleasant day in the country. All of these memories because of their being special will be held in our mind forever. Yes they may grow duller over time but they are still there. But what about those memories you don’t want to remember? The ones that cause you pain, that pop into your mind when you wake up and are there just before you go to sleep?

If it has been some time since your relationship ended but you just can’t stop thinking and fantasising about your ex what can you do about it?

Well, the first thing to do is to understand why it seems impossible for you to move on. When you first broke up with your ex all you could think about was getting your ex back. This is perfectly understandable and completely natural. Your ex was on your mind all the time and you were getting constant reminders about your old relationship wherever you went. But because those memories and thoughts were constant you have in effect trained your mind to believe that they are the things you want to think about the most! As a result no matter how long it has been since your breakup those memories are still there on a day to day basis. It has quite simply become a habit!

Through my articles and answers on forums I have met a lot of people who claim still to hold a candle for their ex even though they may not have seen him or her for five years! Now it is perfectly natural to hold some love and affection for somebody that you spent so much time with and loved so deeply but love does not last! Once a relationship is over the love starts to die. It can take some time for it to go from being “in love” to loving a person because they were once your partner but nevertheless that love does change.

So what can you do if you seem to be stuck in that rut of perpetual love for your ex?

One of the most common times for those thoughts and memories to strike is just after you have woken up. I call this the “freight train” affect. While you are sleeping your sub conscious mind takes over looking after you and stops those thoughts and memories from entering your mind. Your sub conscious knows you need a good night’s sleep! As soon as you wake up your conscious mind kicks in and back come those thoughts that your mind thinks you want to think about due to habit!

So the first thing to do is as soon as you wake up is get up! Immediately do something that will require you to think. Doing this will take your mind away from those repetitive thoughts and memories and onto something a lot more constructive. If you continue to do this during the day then your mind will gradually realise that those thoughts and memories are not welcome. By doing this you are retraining your mind.

Other things you can do include taking up a new hobby, perhaps changing your job or moving apartment, redecorating and throwing out all those knick knacks that remind you of your ex. Also making new friends can be a great help as they will in turn introduce you to new activities which will create new memories. Taking a different route to work or changing your routine in the simplest way can also be a great help.

It is true that time heals all but sometimes we have to give time a helping hand! Being passive can often be the worst thing that you can do and this is no exception. To get anywhere in life you have to apply action so why don’t you start today and retrain your mind?

So many relationships end because the flame of love that burned so bright at the start has over time dwindled to a barely alive spark! Sound familiar? I bet it does as there are very few of us that haven’t experienced that feeling of passion that we were sure would last forever only to end up alone and confused wondering just what the hell happened! And there are quite a few of us who go through the same heartbreak over and over again and never work out why. So let’s take a look at the “stages in a relationship” and just what if anything we can do to keep that flame burning bright!

1, That First Kiss!
When two people first meet and fall in love it’s like all the fun of the fair and then some! As human beings we are “programmed” by nature to look for a mate, we are social animals, happiest in our family groups surrounded by people we love and who love us. But nature in a way plays a cruel trick on new lovers. That first flush of love is there to get us hooked and to ensure the survival of our species. Because without love there would be very few children and we as a race would soon die out! Now I know this sounds very clinical but understanding how the whole cycle of love and regeneration works can help us to deal with the problems that will occur later on. We meet, fall in love, get married, have kids, fall out of love and get divorced! Sound familiar? That first thunderbolt of love can and frequently does blind us to reality. We can’t see our lover’s faults and instead think of them as endearments!  This time of starry love can last for a couple of years but never lasts forever! So what is next?

2, Reality Steps In!
This is the stage when that first exciting flush of love begins to dull and the reality of everyday life starts to creep in! It is now that you start to see your lover as just another human being complete with the manufacturers built in faults! You get to know each other very well, sometimes a bit too well to be honest but the love is still there and you continue to overlook all those so annoying but cute habits. At the start of your love affair your body produces endorphins, the natural feel good chemical produced by the human brain but it simply can’t keep up that production indefinitely and as reality sets in the endorphin affect starts to wear off! This can be the most confusing stage in any relationship as it is now that you have to learn the art of communication if you want your relationship to continue and to flourish. Many people are successful at this, still overlooking their partner’s faults and foibles but gradually learning to deal with their lover as a human being and not just as some sort of “never do wrong super being!” It is in this stage that the first arguments start to appear and when they do it can come as a major shock to the system! But these disagreements tend to be minor and blow over quickly as both relationship partners are still deeply in love. This is also the stage when friendship begins to really take a hold but in a good way. Spending time at home and watching a film with a bottle of wine instead of tearing each other’s clothes off at the first opportunity! Unlike the first stage of overwhelming love and excitement this stage only lasts a few months and so it’s onto the next!

3, The I’m Going Mad Stage!
Remember when you used to think that him leaving the toilet seat up was such a cute little boy thing? Well this is the stage where that starts to become a serious threat to your sanity! The “cute” little habits that made your lover so endearing and had you telling all your girlfriends just how lovable he is have by now really begun to grate on your nerves! I mean, just what is the problem with putting the top back on the toothpaste tube! Yes, this stage can really test each of you and it is now that you realise that your partner is as annoying as anybody else’s but the love is still there and it makes up for all those strange quirks you have to put up with! The trick to get through this stage without pulling your hair out is to accept that those things that annoyed you so much about your partner were always there. It’s just that you were so in love at the start you overlooked them! Now is the time to realise that none of us are perfect especially your lover! It’s also around this time that the desire to change what you once thought of as perfect starts to emerge. But don’t worry, this is perfectly normal and while it might not go away realising this can help you to deal with all your lover’s faults.  And there are many!

4, The Friendship Stage
If you have managed to make it this far then well done! Needless to say but many relationships fail at the last stage with couples being unable to deal with the reality of life and the faults of their partner. This is why you tend to see so many people who go from one relationship to the next seemingly at the drop of a hat! They love the first flush of love and can deal with the reality stage but simply can’t cope with the going mad stage so bug out! In this stage partners in a relationship have grown to depend on each other, the love is still there but now it is tempered by a deep friendship where each partner has come to accept the other faults and have become committed to the relationship. This is also the time where partners start to set their own personal boundaries within the relationship and start to develop certain habits for each of them. Monday night football with the boys and Friday girl’s night out. These habits are important in a relationship as they give each partner a sense of independence while still knowing that they are in a safe and steady relationship but it’s during this time that the most effort has to be put into the relationship if it is to continue. There is a danger that the habits could become more important that the relationship itself and that the partners in the relationship could start to drift apart. So now is the time to set aside time for doing relationship things like watching a film with a bottle of wine! Do you remember how you used to do that?

5, The Commitment Stage
And we come to the final stage of our journey, the relationship has gone through quite a lot of ups and downs by this stage but due to the work put into it by both partners it is stable and secure. It may interest you to learn that fewer than 5% of relationships ever manage to make it to this stage so if yours is one of them then congratulations! Now each partner knows everything there is to know about the other, all their faults and innermost secrets and the friendship is stronger than ever. And so is the love but it is now completely different to the love that was there at the start. It is now based on a mutual respect for each other and continues to grow through teamwork. This is where you accept your partner as your best friend in life and generally do most everything together. Both of you know exactly where you are going in life and are fully prepared to support the other no matter what! This is the final stage in a loving relationship which has now changed into a loving partnership!